Finals, Schminals!

It's finals week officially, which is why postings have been few and far between over the past few weeks...

Ohio State is, once again, the #1 team in the country (bitches). The leader in the clubhouse to play the Buckeyes in New Orleans is LSU, since they are #2 in the AP and Coaches poll. That blows, because it'll be like a home game for LSU. On the other hand, OSU fans travel EXTREMELY well. We went to the Fiesta Bowl against Kansas State a few years ago because the organizers sited "economic concerns" for selecting the Buckeyes. They basically said that no one from Kansas State was going to show up, so they needed a draw. Damn, did it work. They filled the arena. I think the Sugar Bowl will wind up about 50/50, much to the chagrin of LSU. Take that, fatty!
More to come...

So...

I got to watch the Blue Jackets game last night at work (ssshh, don't tell anyone). It was a doozy. 3-2 Shootout win over the Red Wings at home. That's the kind of game that can turn a season around. It took the Jackets out of the cellar and into a playoff spot. Good times...

In other news...

Ohio State jumps to #3 in the BCS. Should Missouri lose to Oklahoma in the Big XII Championship Game (VERY likely) or West Virginia lose to Pitt (not very likely), Ohio State will go to the championship game in New Orleans. Should BOTH of these happen, we'll play Georgia. Ohio State-Missouri = Ohio State Win, BIG

Ohio State-West Virginia = Crapshoot, could go either way. WVU is like Illinois, but better...

Ohio State-Georgia = Ohio State win, but it'd be close...

In a word...

Balls.
Ohio State- 21
Illi-God-damn-nois- 28
(It HAD to be Illinois, didn't it?)

Blue Jackets-3
Nashville-4
F/Shootout

Balls Balls Big Furry Lumberjack Balls made of wood and covered in coarse hairs....

So, Here are a few things...

What happened to needing talent to get ahead in this country? I just watched 20 minutes of a show, my hand to God, called "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila." If you haven't seen it (and since you're reading this, I'm assuming you haven't), Tila Tequila is a diminutive bisexual who gained huge celebrity by having a myspace page and being a vapid whore. 16 guys (and they are amazing men, captains of industry every one) and 16 lesbians(...no complaints about that part of it actually) "compete" for a chance to "hit it." That's it. That's your show. Guess what network it's on? MTV. maybe I'm getting to old, but remember when the "M" in "MTV" was for "Music," not "Look! vagina!"

Everyone says that Pete Carroll is the greatest coach in college football these days. He coches USC, which might be the easiest school to recruit for in the country. Not to be a homer, but I think Jimmy T has a much stiffer challenge...Lets look at it objectively...
USC is nestled in kind of a shitty area of LA. Other than that, it is a lovely campus, it's always sunny and 70, and the student body is as attractive as they come.

Ohio State on the other hand, is in the middle of Columbus, Ohio. I love it here, but 70 and sunny it is not. Ohio State happens to have the largest enrollment of any degree-granting institution (that isn't on the internet...I mean, come on, really?) in the United States. The student body? Not...as...attractive.

And yet...
Career records at respective schools...
Carroll at USC...71-13 (45-8)
Tressel at Ohio State...70-14 (42-10)

End of season rankings...
USC (2001-current) NR,4,2,1,2,4,8
OSU (2001-current) NR,1,4,20,4,2,1

Conference Competition...
End of season rankings...(2002-current)
Pac 10 (AP)
2002 (USC Conf. Title)
Washington State (10)

2003 (USC Nat'l Camp. [split, LSU])
Washington State (9)

2004 (USC Nat'l Camp)
California (9)
Arizona State (19)

2005 (USC Conf. Title)
Oregon (12)
UCLA (16)
California (25)

2006 (USC Conf. Title)
California (14)
Oregon State (21)

2007 (through week 8, USC at 8)
Oregon (5)
Arizona State (7)
California (18)

Big 10 (AP)
2002 (Ohio State Nat'l Champ)
Iowa (8)
Michigan (9)
Penn State (16)

2003
Michigan (6)
Iowa (8)
Purdue (18)
Minnesota (20)

2004
Iowa (8)
Michigan (14)
Wisconsin (17)

2005 (Ohio State Conf. Title)
Penn State (3)
Wisconsin (15)

2006 (Ohio State Conf. Title)
Wisconsin (7)
Michigan (8)
Penn State (24)

2007 (Through Week 8, Ohio State 1)
Michigan (19)
Penn State (24)

The only seasons in which the Pac 10 had more teams in the top 25 than the Big 10 were 2005 (USC 2, OSU 4) and this year (USC 8, Ohio State 1). The Pac 10 had 12 teams in the top 25 at year's end during this span, with an average ranking of (13.75). The Big 10 had 17 teams in the top 25 at year's end with an average ranking of (13.18). It's kind of splitting hairs as to who's better, but I think the numbers do a pretty good job of showing it. Tressel has 3 fewer conference wins. That can be accounted for by level of competition. He also has one less win overall. Again, level of competition. I hope this was as enlightening to read as it was to research. I hope to revisit again at the end of the year, sucakfish!

To 25 in tha piece! Also...O-H!

Here it is, my personal top 25...
1. LSU
2. Cal
3. Ohio State
4. Oregon
5. Boston College
6. USF
7. South Carolina
8. West Virginia
9. Florida
10. Kentucky
11. Missouri
12. Oklahoma
13. Cincinnati
14. Arizona State
15. Illinois
16. Hawaii
17. Kansas
18. Florida State
19. Wisconsin
20. Auburn
21. USC
22. Indiana
23. Purdue
24. Rutgers
25. Texas
My logic...
1. Losses to any of the top three shouldn't hurt much, if at all (Hi Oregon/Florida).
2. Losses at home to teams that suck hurt. A LOT (welcome, USC/Texas).
3. Night games are different. They just are. Losing a night game on the road to a ranked opponent (especially in the top 10) isn't as bad as a loss in a day or afternoon game. It's different under the lights (You're welcome, Purdue/Rutgers).
In other news...
Ohio State is good. VERY good. They've outscored opponents 202-43. If you subtract junk points (which are points scored after the Buckeyes are up by 21 or more) that number drops to 26. 26 REAL points in 6 games. WOW.

Check back Friday for hyperlinks! Leave comments! Hooray!

Here we go again...

Ohio State (-7) at Purdue
Purdue throws the ball. A LOT. Which is weird. I don't think Purdue has ever had a team that throws (up) a lot...ANYWAY...
Curtis Painter is a helluva quarterback. He has TD passes to eight different recievers and 18 overall. He is coming off a year (2006, for those of you as good at math as I am) when he threw a gazillion TD's, but 19 interceptions as well (leading all 1A). This year he only has three against football powerhouses such as Toledo (1-4), Eastern Illinois (3-2, 1AA), Central Michigan (2-3), Minnesota (1-4), and Notre Dame (0-5!). Beforetherewas contest: Without cheating, name the 4 teams the above referenced are playing just by the uniforms. Hell, get help, you probably still can't do it...
Ohio State comes fresh off a drubbing of Minnesota, and a week in which no one was arrested for soliciting a(n 80's) prostitute! Hooray!
I think the Buckeyes win this one 33-17. I HATE road games at Purdue. Purdue is THAT team for Sweatervest. Always more trouble than they are worth. Purdue keeps it close for three quarters, then depth on the lines takes over, and Ohio State runs it up in the 4th.
In other news...
Please Jeebus, give me a comeback of biblical proportions. I beg of you. I think the Cubs will take the two in Wrigley.

Sweet Baby Jesus!

SOOOOO...
It was a big weekend in college football.
Your standings on Friday...(top 10)
1. USC (43) 3-0
2. LSU (22) 4-0
3. Oklahoma 4-0
4. Florida 4-0
5. West Virginia 4-0
6. Cal 4-0
7. Texas 4-0
8. Ohio State 4-0
9. Wisconsin 4-0
10. Rutgers 4-0
Your standings when the dust settled on Sunday...(Top 10)
1. LSU (33) 5-0
2. USC (32) 4-0
3. Cal 5-0
4. Ohio State 5-0
5. Wisconsin 5-0
6. SOUTH FLORIDA(You stay Classy...) 4-0
7. BOSTON COLLEGE (You too...) 5-0
8. KENTUCKY 5-0
9. Florida 4-1
10. Oklahoma 4-1
The teams in bold are new to the top ten and haven't seen it in 30 years this side of NCAA 2008 on the ol' PS2, PS3, X-Box, whatever...

In other news...
Your 2007 NL Central Champion Chicago Cubs will be playing your 2007 NL West Champion Arizona Diamondbacks (WTF is that picture all about?) in a best of 5 set. Baseball uses a 2-2-1 format in the Division series'.
Good news: In the six games the two teams played, the Cubs had the better ERA, average and outscored the Diamondbacks 19-18*
Bad news: The D'Backs took 4 of 6.
I think the Cubs have what it takes. With Zambrano pitching game one and probably five if necessary, Lilly going in game two, and a lineup that TORE THROUGH September, I think they'll take it in 4. We'll see...
*author's note: Revised, I had my runs off by -1 a piece. I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken...

CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN! HOLY COW!

The Cubs clinch the NL Central with 2 games left in the 2007 season. Awesome. Looks like they'll be playing the D'Backs in the NLDS. Who does Mark Grace root for? I'll fuckin' tell you who! The Cubs...maybe.
In other news...
Ohio State (-24) at Minnesota
Ohio State rolls into Minnesota fresh off a drubbing of the Northwestern Wildcats. How did they celebrate their 58-7 victory, you ask? By sending their third-string quarterback out trollin' for whores! In his defense, this was what the prostitute looked like...I probably would have taken a run at her too. ANYWAY...
Todd (I don't pay for ass) Boeckman has shown the ability to throw the deep ball effectively and Brian (I also defer on the 'paying for ass' front) Robiske can catch a hell of a ball (3 catches, 84 yds., 3 TD's vs. NW...wow.). Minnesota's secondary looks like this (That tall girl in the back could be dangerous...she's got her "Cover 2" merit badge.), so I think we'll have the third stringers in by the...oh, wait...
Ohio State- 51
Minnesota- 17 junk points.
(P.S. Welcome Back hyperlinks!)

How much power does it take to shock a Wolverine?

1 AA. AHAHAHAHAHA...take that, fatty. Now for college footbaw! footbawfootbawfootbaw!
Game to watch...
Ohio State (-4.5) at Washington.
Fresh off the upset of last year's Utah (who was that year's TCU, who was that year's Spurrier-coached Duke, et-cetera, et-cetera), Boise State, Washington comes into Saturday's game looking for THE signature win of the Ty Willingham era (the previous being a drubbing of those pesky Vandals of Idaho, and a win in the Apple Cup last year [note: remember when Washington State played Oklahoma in the Rose Bowl, and no one bought tickets? Yeah, I didn't watch it either...] over Washington State). Washington runs a spread-option kind of attack, using Tim Tebow doppleganger Jake Locker and his 9 foot-7 inch 4,212 pound frame to keep defenses honest with a pretty wicked running attack. We all saw how well previous Big T(11)en teams have handled the spread-option (see: Michigan's own Girl Scout Troop 109 vs. Troy Smith(three times)/Oregon (twice)/Appalachian State!), not well.
Ohio State, however, is not Michigan. First of all, they held Youngstown State and Akron to no TD's, winning both games 1-0 in extra innings in traditonal Tressel-ball style. By that I mean he had the punter run the offense. Sweatervest likey punter...Anyway, The defense is pretty terrific, and the offense, I suspect/hope/blink back tears as I remember last year (except that Championship mess [A.J. Trepasso 6 punts, 227 yards, 37.8 yards average]) will open up the playbook a little with the return (maybe) of burner Ray Small, who once beat a meth-head and a cheetah in my fantasy sprinting league. He's no Teddy Ballgame, but he'll keep the DB's (the YOUNG DB's, Washington starts an awful lot of Freshmen, even if they are of the red-shirt variety) from creeping into the box, which could spell a big day for Chris "Beanie" Wells, we're talking 175 yards, 2 TD's, and of course a fumble or two. You want a pick? Of course you do, you dirty girls...
Ohio State 27
Washington 17

Check back tomorrow, if I have the time, I'll do #1 USC-#14 Nebraska, or the Sam Keller "I thought I left the Pac-10" variety hour. It'll be interesting for about as long as that show would, 15 minutes...