Friday, December 28, 2007


As we know it...and I feel fine...

So I went to see I Am Legend the other day, largely because I have a fascination with all things dealing with the end of the world. The whole genre of Post-apocalyptic fiction fascinates me. It got me thinking, though. What are the odds of it actually happening in my lifetime? I have narrowed down the four most likely culprits, ordered them from most to least, and given you reasons for the odds in the first annual...

"Shit's about to get real" List!

We'll start with the most likely (in my estimation) culprit and work our way down the list. These odds have been checked by a Las Vegas odds-maker, and he said they are the slam-bam-diggity... Lets get to it!

1. Plague
Odds.......15 to 1
Now, by the world "ending," I mean Black Death-like statistics. Fully 1/4 of the world's population died. Any numbers including and past that will throw a pretty big monkey wrench in the machine we call "society." I placed the odds at 15 to 1 because every 100 years or so, there is a pandemic. Be it Bubonic Plague, Cholera, Spanish Flu, TB, or any number of others, something comes along to cull the herd in a pretty major way. There are a number of possible culprits out there right now. TB is making a comeback...and this time, it's drug-resistant! (Hooray!, wait...) The flu mutates every year. That flu shot you got? it's for last year's bug. The new kid on the block has free-range. We've got a stockpile of supposedly dead diseases (Smallpox, Polio) which I feel pretty secure about. It's the ones the Russians have (and are, I'm sure, willing to sell to the highest bidder) that make me nervous. As air travel makes the world smaller every day, it becomes more likely. Recently, a study was done in which scientsts marked a benign bacteria, seeing how quickly it would make it around the world. The answer? 24 hours. Next up, it's our old friend...

2. Nuclear War
Odds.......20 to 1
That's right kiddies, just when you thought it was safe to go back in the pool. Here's a list of countries with nuclear weapons (Thanks, wikipedia!)...

1. United States
2. Russia
3. United Kingdom
4. France
5. China
6. India
7. Pakistan
8. North Korea (Isn't that one reassuring...)
9. Israel (suspected)

The countries that are likely to use them (and against whom) is a shorter list...
in order of likelihood, they are...
1. North Korea (USA, South Korea, Japan, pretty much every one...)
2. Pakistan (India)
3. Israel (Anyone who tries to invade...again. I'm looking at you Syria, Lebanon, and Egypt!)
4. India (Pakistan)
5. China (Taiwan, USA by proxy since we told the Chinese we'd respond in kind if they did so...)

Kim Il Jong is certifiably insane. You never know what that wacky little bastard is going to do next. Pakistan and India have been up each other's butts over Kashmir since around '47. Pakistan is higher on the list because their political situation is...dicey, shall we say. Israel has been willing to lob 'em since they got 'em, which is probably why they still exist as a country right now. The China-Taiwan thing has cooled in recent years, but is ALWAYS on the verge of another flare-up. I took us, the Russians, the French, and the British off the list because I just don't see one of those four pulling that ugly little trigger. If you disagree, tell me why in the comments section! There are two more, which I'll post about on Monday! Stay Tuned!


Anesia said...

Good post babes!

I think it's also worth mentioning that the chief nuclear scientist (Khan) responsible for Pakistan's nuclear capabilities was found to have sold his atomic secrets on the global black market in 2004.
Khan has confessed to passing information to Iran, Libya and North Korea.
He's been pardoned by Pres. Musharraf but remains under virtual house arrest.

Captain Coinpurse said...

Look here, ya see...

adam said...

What about a world dominated by the SEC? I can see packs of toothless alum from Georgia, Mississippi, Florida, and Tennessee (operating out of the metropolis Bucksnort) hunting down all other conferences. ESPN is televising the revolution. Do you see it? The SEC is the greatest thing to happen to civilization since the Renaissance and now they are turning evil. I can hear them now, "Today the NCAA, tomorrow the world! Hee-Haw!" They must be stopped.