Saturday, April 28, 2007

Day 5 without the Computer...

Preface: I think I'm going to do a post every other day, barring any special circumstances. I mean, there are only a few ways you can say something sucks, or doesn't. That said...

Things that suck:

1. Work! BORING! I want to stab like 2/3 of the people I work with...

2. Not being able to erase things easily...(use a pencil, you say? Sucks to your ass-mar!)

3. People keep telling me about websites. I have to say "I can't use the computer." You can't use the computer? What are you, Amish? Yes, I'm Amish in a Puma jacket...douche.

4. No Porn. Can't do it the old-fashioned way. No imagination left. I close my eyes and...bupkis. Thank God for the GF...

Things that don't:

1. Still reading, still sweet. The Tipping Point, highly recommended. Malcolm Gladwell. If you don't know, "you'd better axe sumbuddy," as the kids say.

2. Go Blue Ink. I forgot what a whole written page looked like that had nothing to do with school...

The hand-written post...

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Day 3 without the computer...

Things That Still Suck...

1. No checking e-mail. There is definitely something reassuring about getting messages every day, even if they are spam...:(

2. NO SPELL CHECK! I always spell two words wrong, definitely (?) (*authors note: Hooray for me! I got it right!) and through (?) (I think I got it right there). Normally I hit the spell check button and BOOM!, problem solved. Not now...

3. My handwriting. Look at this stuff! (*authors note: see below...) What am I? 3? Handwriting analysts would just say, "He's clearly retarded," and move on to the next one.

Things That Don't...

1. It's a little cathartic, I gotta tell ya. This must be what coming off Heroin feels like. The itch is still there, but I feel it fading...

2. Not watching the Cubs lose, up to the minute...in vivid color...fucking Cubs.

Click for the hand-written post...

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

A day without the Computer...

Intro:
"What do you mean you 'can't use the computer'?"

I have heard this more times than I can count over the last week. Every time someone gave me a website to look at or asked me to do something on the computer, I'd have to say "I can't." I may as well have said "I have a scorching case of herpes." I became a pariah...and yes, it sucked.

Here's what I'm gonna do. I've got three hand-written posts that I've (thanks to Tha Bomb Shelter) scanned into the ol' magic box, which I'll copy, verbatim (with any corrections in spelling and grammar that need to be made), as a post. Then I'll link to the images of the hand-written posts below. I'll post one a day for the next three days, then surrender the next convenience. Here we go...

Day 1
What Sucks...

1. Remember when I said this was going to suck? I had no idea. This sucks harder than anything has ever sucked before. It sucks so hard, it is threatening to collapse in on itself, creating a black hole from which no awesome can escape. Three words haunt me like the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future. Out of Market. I am a Cubs fan. I live in Columumumbus, Ohio. I can't watch most Cubs games because I live (all together now) Out of Market! The only thing that made this bare-able was the intrawebs. I could keep track of scores, check standings, do all that fun stuff. Now, I have to use ESPN (which takes forever)...*authors note: I meant the bottom line, the little score ticker that runs on the bottom of the screen. Back to the action...or the newspaper (Blasphemy!) to get my fix. It eats ass.

2. Fantasy Baseball. Am I winning? Fuck if I know...

3. I checked some sites pretty regularly. ESPN, SI, thabombshelter.com, postsecret, boingboing, collegehumor, etc. I was by no means internet savvy and don't need it to survive, but I miss those sites.

4. WORK. I have to do my job now. WTF is that all about? The lamest shit ever, that's what. Wanna know how lame? (of course!) I work at a hospital. Among my more entertaining duties is babysitting our psych patients for 4 hour stretches. (To tell you how entertaining, I'll give you an example. I just watched a patient with Schizoaffective Disorder eat red Jell-O. Sounds mundane, right? No. Imagine eating Jell-O. Now imagine being crazy, too!...exactly, I could sell tickets, it's that great.) They get a little (read: a lot) boring, though. Enter boredatwork.com, saving me like the Berlin Airlift. I read, I laugh, and then I get back to it. Not any more, Dagnabit.

What Doesn't Suck...

1. I'm reading a lot more. It's pretty schwiggity schwiggity schweet.

2. Colors seem...more alive...not really.

---------Scribbles-------

Slip-ups...

1. I had to check my bank statement. Something was wrong and it was too late to call.

2. I checked the OSU baseball schedule without realizing what I was doing. This is tough...


Here's the hand-written stuff, as promised...






Sunday, April 22, 2007

Just an update...

It sucked...hardcore. I'm in the process of scanning my hand-written posts into the 'puter thanks to my friends over @ ThaBombShelter...More to come, stay tuned. Next week, Microwave!

Friday, April 13, 2007

The Computer...

This...is gonna suck. The first item I am giving up for one week (as soon as I am done here, obviously) is the computer. The sweet, sweet computer.

Rules: No computer, pretty straightforward. No e-mail, no fantasy baseball (damn it), no nothin'. I'll hand write a post a day, and then scan them into the magic box at the end of the week.

Exceptions: Work. I use the computer to chart at work, and there's really no way around it, so I'll make a small exception for that.

Feel free to e-mail me with words of support, or to tell me I'm a moron (which I'm starting to suspect right about now), I won't get them until this time on the 20th...wish me luck gang...ok, I'm going...now........I mean now................Damn, this is gonna suck...